Hey there all you Leg Humper Fans! We need to find a catchy name for you all. Like One Directions fans are “Directioners”, Beatles Fans were a part of “Beatle-Mania”, there are “Beliebers”, Fanilows, Claymates, Little Monsters, Parrotheads, Deadheads, Grobanites, Swifties, etc. From this moment on, we will call you all “Humpees!”
Now that all my Humpees finally have a name they can call themselves, and thus, an identity, I’ll expect to be recognized in public and see t-shirts and hats of “I’m a Humpee” while walking around in New York City or Paris or, really, based on the popularity of Leg Humper, even the most remote and less populated of locations like the Saraha Desert or the “I’m a straight man who understands women” annual convention.
So I’ve been pondering my next blog for a while, and I have several ideas, but for some reason, I sat back and thought about this: a “Quiz” that would determine your level of commitment or devotion to the Game of War. I think if you take this Quiz, you’ll be pleased to find out exactly where you stand in the GAME OF WAR community.
Without further ado, I present to you all, the TRUEST measure of your commitment and involvement with GOW.
You will need a pen and paper to keep track of your scores. Answer each question as honestly as possible.
1) Do you consider GOW to be the best APP of all time?
- Yes. Absolutely, Of course! How dare you even ask! (64 pts)
- Yes, it’s a fun app that allows me to escape from reality. (16 pts)
- BEST App? Not sure, maybe one of the most popular apps, or most successful apps, but BEST? Eh. (4 Pt)
- No. Clash of Clans is WAY better. (LIAR! Blasphemer! 1 Pts)
2) Have you ever allowed GOW to dictate your sleeping patterns?
- Yes. I have adjusted my body clock to only need sleep in 6 hour intervals so I don’t miss any quest resets, I can go for 28 hours straight when needed for a KVK Kill event, I have trained myself to recognize the differences between my phones notification for an incoming march, a rally notification, or an incoming mail. (64 pts)
- Yes, when I’m holding a hero, I tend to worry just that little bit more that someone will try to free it, and often times wake up several times through the night to check my phone. (16 pts)
- Yes, I only sleep after I’ve fully checked all shields on main and farm accounts. (4 pts)
- No. (i.e. I’m lying or slightly sleep deprived so I don’t realize I’m wrong.) (1 Pt)
3) Have you allowed the KVK schedule to dictate your scheduling of real life events?
- Yes. I’m the coach of my kids Basketball team and I have scheduled all practices and petitioned the league about game times to allow for me to be able to be on at the start of KVK. (64 Pts)
- Yes. We have DVR’d shows to watch them later when a KVK is scheduled to start. (16 Pts)
- Yes. My family plans to go out for dinner when KVK is set to start. (4 Pts)
- No. (i.e. I’m lying, but my wife and kids are reading this over my shoulder so I HAVE to answer this way.) (1 Pt)
4) Have your eating habits changed?
- Yes. I’ve learned to only eat foods that require 1 hand, so that my other hand can GOW. (64 Pts)
- Yes. I’ve adjusted my families eating schedule so as not to interfere with KVK start times. (16 Pts)
- Yes. I’ve eaten my dinner cold because I was so intent on finishing an inferno that I forgot the food was right in front of me. (4 Pts)
- No. (i.e. I’m lying or I have set up an intravenous IV drip to get all needed nutrients in a constant flow.) (1 Pt)
5) Have your personal hygiene habits changed?
- Yes. I’ve gone days without showering because I was holding a hero. (64 Pts)
- Yes. I’ve stopped brushing my teeth with the toothbrush in my mouth to check a game notification (16 Pts)
- Yes. I’ve had to make a decision to put down the game in order to wash my face or put on deodorant, and the game sometimes wins. (4 Pts)
- No. (i.e. I’m lying. I really need to take a shower, as my eyes are watering from the stench cloud surrounding me currently.) (1 Pt)
6) How has GOW affected your family life?
- I’ve lost family over this game, and I’m ok with it. If they can’t understand my GOW life, or can’t get a GOW account of their own in order to talk to me, screw them! (64 Pts)
- I’ve distanced my family just enough so that they understand, while I’m on the game, they shouldn’t talk to me. It’s very quiet in my house now. (16 Pts)
- My family still complains about how much I play. I am thinking about explaining to them where they ACTUALLY rank in my life…. (4 Pts)
- My family accepts my game time and we all get along fine. (LIAR! This is simply NEVER going to be believable.) (1 Pt)
7) How has GOW affected your friendships?
- I have my GOW friends. Screw everyone else! (Epic! 256 Pts)
- I value the friendships I’ve made on GOW, and in many cases, my best friends in real life don’t hold a candle to my best friends on GOW. (64 Pts)
- I have a good balance of friends both in game and in real life. The real life friends just don’t understand the level of friendship I have with my GOW friends. I try to talk to them a lot about the game to educate them more fully. (16 Pts)
- I log in, I chat a bit, say hi, work on my SH, do some farming, set a research, leave. Most in my alliance probably don’t even know who I am or that I have an actual life outside of GOW. (4 Pts)
- People I’ve met in GOW are either alliance mates and good for helping me with research time reduction or getting needed RSS, or not alliance mates and thus, potential targets for my virtual troops to attack their virtual troops and gain virtual victory in a virtual game. They aren’t really my friends, or even in my mind, actual people, and if they stopped playing all of a sudden, I might not even notice. (Liar! and a JERK TOO! 1 Pt)
8) If you’re driving and you get a GOW notification:
- I pick up my phone, continuing to drive, and try to split my focus between GOW and the road ahead. (This is REALLY bad, but in the interest of this quiz, 64 Pts, but those are points you should NOT be proud of.)
- (If there’s a passenger in the car with you) Carefully talk a passenger through what they need to do to take care of what needs to be taken care of. (Tie for 16 Pts)
- (If no passenger) I immediately pull over the car to the side of the road, take care of what I need to take care of, and then resume driving. (Tie for 16 Pts)
- I glance at phone, if it’s a rally notification or incoming attack, I realize it’s best to look for a turn off or safe place to park, and once safe, check the battle report or see if someone needs help. (4 Pts)
- I never look at the phone while driving, not even for GOW. (1 Pt. But you should be proud of this one)
9) When at a family party or out with a group of friends (Especially during a Kill Event):
- You sneak away often to an empty room or the bathroom or outside to check GOW, often losing track of time, returning to a worried group of people wondering if you may have a serious gastrointestinal problem (or they now have a serious plumbing problem) or if you’ve suddenly taken up smoking a pack of cigarettes per trip outside. (EPIC! 256 Pts)
- You keep your phone in your hand, sometimes hidden in your pocket, only worrying about it when you feel the vibrate. Briefly take the phone out, look at it, determine if it’s important, may put it back in your pocket, may look to your party and say “This is important, sorry, please excuse me for a bit.” (64 Pts)
- You check occasionally to keep up to date with who’s killing what, log in, post a message to keep up the good work, then return to party. (16 Pts)
- You barely worry about GOW, maybe checking later after the party is over, only to find that your alliance mates seriously needed you, or you’ve been zeroed. (4 Pts)
- You turn off your phone during those times. Friends and family are more important. (Why are you even taking this quiz if THAT’S your attitude? 1 Pt)
10) In that “moment” when you realize you REALLY need to rush to go to the bathroom, how far do you get before you stop to go back for your GOW device?
- I’ve been in the middle of dropping my pants, realized, pulled back up and ran to get device. (Legendary! 1024 Pts!)
- I’ve been in full cheeks squeezing penguin walk, stopped, turned around, got device. (Epic!) 256 Pts)
- I’ve luckily been able to grab my device in route as I clench the rest of my body. (64 Pts)
- I’ve gotten to the point of sitting down, only to have to ask a family member to get my device and bring it to me. (16 Pts)
- I’ve never gone back for my device in those circumstances. I do, however, ask a friend of family member to check my phone just in case. (4 Pts)
- I just leave the device in the other room and don’t worry if I get a notification. (Liar! No one actually does that, do they? ) (1 Pt)
Have you ever thought about resetting shields during very inappropriate times? Like in church, or during intimate times with your spouse, during the birth of a child? Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
Have you been late for an important meeting or event because you had to finish doing something on GOW, like using your full warrant time in the coliseum or finishing an inferno? Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
Have you ever bought an improved device (phone, ipad, etc) because GOW needed it? Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
Have you ever woken up practically sick over whether you had on your fighting gear while off line? Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
Have you ever had to rewind a movie or TV show more than once in a short period of time because of GOW? Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
Have you ever felt the need to sign in to GOW just to share major life events that you haven’t even told your friends and family about? Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
Have you ever been called out at work, or at a sporting event by co worker, friends or a boss for not paying attention to the world around you because of GOW? Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
Have you ever had to explain to your doctor why your finger is sore after tapping for hours for RSS? Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
Have you ever felt that real life isn’t enough like GOW? Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
Have you ever struggled to explain something to a non GOWer because you were using GOW references? (Like, “So, honey, I was running a rally on the wonder and an outlander ported in 2 tiles over and sent a solo at my strong hold while my hero was out for the rally. Well, I recalled the hero march and set a fake rally to throw him off, making him think my hero wasn’t home, and I ate the rally and captured the hero. I ransomed him for 30 Three day speeds and enough silver to craft a magister helm and finish my full set bonus research”) Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
Did you realize that the points for each answer follow GOW math, of each higher level is 4x the previous one? Yes=16 Pts. No=Well maybe you should go back and notice it…. 1 Pt
Have you ever logged in to GOW just a few minutes after logging out, simply out of habit. Realizing there’s nothing to do, as you did it all a few minutes ago, you start doing something else like combining or opening chests? Yes=16 Pts. No=Liar. 1 Pt
1001-2176 Points LEGENDARY! You have a serious GOW addiction, but at least you’re honest about it and know that this has come to define your life on many levels. Congrats. You are a true Leg Humpee!
701-1000 Points EPIC! You have a GOW problem, and it only MOSTLY takes over your life, with occasional moments of clarity where you realize it’s wrong to be this into GOW, only to be dragged back in.
385-700 Points RARE! You are likely in the most healthy place with your GOW and real life balance, taking the game seriously while also being able to handle most things in real life efficiently and effectively. Congrats!
151-384 Points UNCOMMON You’re not playing GOW enough, and it’s likely reflected in your constant need for resources, or speed ups, or shields dropping. You care enough to be mad that these things happen, but not enough to play more, as you should.
74-150 Points COMMON Eh. It’s likely no one in GOW even knows who you are anyway. Your own alliance likely thinks you’re someones farm brought in for transfer.
28-73 Points BASIC I have no respect for you at all. You have lied on every question in this quiz, there is simply NO WAY you’d have read through this quiz this far, totaled your points, found this point range and thought “yeah. that’s me” unless you’re in COMPLETE DENIAL! Wake up! You REALLY need to go back and re-take this quiz, being honest this time. You need to realize that these quizzes aren’t made for YOUR entertainment, they are made for EVERYONE’S entertainment. Give it the proper respect and answer truthfully.
Please post your results in the comments below in the following format:
Hello, my GOW name is LEG HUMPER, and I am LEGENDARY!
Thank you all for reading this far,
Hero: Leg Humper
Kingdom #94 Dahae
Alliance: MGd Mad Guardians of Dahae
Current title holder and champion of the “AWESOME” and “SARCASTIC divisions.