Best Rally Trap Ever
So, how did SeeMorebutts take 22 rallies and become the best rally trap ever?
The name of the trap account in this blog has been changed. Why? Because he thinks no one will know what happened here yesterday, no one will spread the word about the story about to be told. Unfortunately, since he’s Canadian, he doesn’t get the whole “viral” spreading of information or cool stories or videos. To him, “Viral” just refers to infections he may or may not get from unprotected relationships with a Moose. I have changed the name of the trap to protect it’s anonymity, so henceforth, I will refer to the star of this blog, the “Trap Account” as MooseLuvR.
The setting: KvK Kill event vs #376. Just north of the Dahae Forest, MooseLuvR (name changed slightly to protect the somewhat innocent), a player I moderately can almost kind of stand despite the fact that he’s Canadian and obviously, well, not afraid to share that fact, sets up his trap, MooseLuvR in a strategic position and reinforces himself from his main account. He tells others in the alliance to reinforce, and many do, including some of my own troops.
(Some time passes)
A rally is up, it’s fake, but we don’t know this. MooseLuvR figures it out and saves his cores. Other outlanders port in, and set a real rally this time. As the march approaches, we frantically alert him in alliance chat (and PM too) that this one is real…no response…..we’re worried. Did he LAG? Did he get booted from GOW? Is he drunk on some Canadian beer? Was he involved in some sort of flirting ritual with his sled dogs? Was he distracted by his Ice Hole being frozen over? We didn’t know.
The Rally struck…..and a little red icon appears over his SH..no troops returning to the attacking army. WOO HOO! He took the rally, wiped it out! (Turns out the guy was a 7 Billion player, and though I may lose track of the specific order of who attacked and lost their hero in which order, it’s all irrelevant because I’m writing it like this, so read it as such, and let’s all just move on with the story please!…sheesh…)
Almost immediately, another rally comes up, same alliance, someone else will attack and save the hero! It marches, and again, radio silence from MooseLuvR. We watch, squeezing our collective phones, ipads and computer mouses, ready immediately to send rss if needed.
The rally marches….we all fall silent…..the only sound heard was the heart beating out of my chest…thump thump…….thump thump……the rally gets close…….thump thump…thump thump……the rally hits….the pause where we know nothing….no notification, no smoke or fire, nothing,,,,,,thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump……And like the anti climactic feeling you get when you see a “Wet Paint” sign, and touch the surface only to find it’s actually dry, we find he ate ANOTHER rally, and no troops returned, hero captured.
And then, the worst thing that could happen…happened…..
Someone called out that we should get more reinforcements in as a few had been lost in the battle. I recalled mine, intending to put another full march back in, but someone else beat me to it….little did I know that this would be the last battle report I’d get to see from MooseLuvR…..and that saddens me….as it must sadden all of you as well…
But then we sat and watched as more outlanders showed up. Other members with cores, a rally pops up, it marches…..poof! Gone. 3 heroes captured, all from the same alliance…surely they’ll stop, as they KNOW they’ve been beaten, yes? No.
Next thing they try is a 2 alliance simultaneous rally. MooseLuvR is excited to try his skills out and see how he does! (Side note here, How great is our alliance, we were sending him so much RSS inbetween rallies that he had to ask us to stop, as he couldn’t see the rally coming on his watchtower….lol… He was MORE than prepared with RSS on hand for instant healing! Good job MooseLuvR! )
The rallies are going to hit just seconds apart…will MooseLuvR be able to heal in time? Will the extra lag from scouts and multiple rallies screw him up? Who shot JR? What was with the Smoke Monster on LOST? Am I asking too many questions?
No! He took them both, and though he didn’t wipe them out, they were sure and solid victories!
What would they do? Will they continue to try to save their captured heroes? Seems the answer is YES. (Pressing the FastForward button for those of you already losing interest)
Rally marches, hits, poof, Hero gone.
Rally marches, hits, Poof, another hero captured.
Dual rally, both hit, 1st one loses hero, 2nd one gets hurt, but some come home, no hero. Why?
A slight tangent.
Remember a LONG time ago when MZ graciously gave us the option to turn off the “Toast Notifications” and all rejoiced in the land, we were happy with MZ that we didn’t have to research that feature, or buy it in a gold pack….And then like a week later they took that option away? Likely because they realized it helped us in some small way) Well….
After the 1st rally, MooseLuvR hero leveled up, and while going to press the instant heal button to take the 2nd rally, it blocked him off, meaning he got hit with the 2nd rally with hospitals filled. Bummer. Still won, but didn’t get that one more hero…
Last I saw, MooseLuvR was holding heroes of 7 fairly big players (ranging from 4-12 Billion I believe)
I believe the final total was 22 rallies landed on MooseLuvR. 22. TWENTY TWO……..Veintidós…..zweiundzwanzig…..vingt-deux…..tuttugu og tvær…..스물 둘……বাইশ……amashumi amabili nambili….yeah….THAT many!
At one point, there was a 4 way rally on him, and he survived them ALL!
So tell me, have you heard any similar stories? I’m not sure about you, but I think after 2-3 rallies in a short period of time, I’d have said “Shield! I’m proud of myself!”
But that’s not what MooseLuvR did. He decided to keep going, pushing himself to the limit, seeing what he could take, how long he could go, how many heroes he could take.
And for that, his perseverance, his stubborness to keep going, his tenacity, his “cajones!” His unwillingness to give in and take the easy way out, to shield and take a mental break, is for THESE reasons that I’m completely disappointed in MooseLuvR.
MooseLuvR may have made some of the most selfish moves I’ve ever seen. Those poor outlanders didn’t have their heroes, while their cores were running, they couldn’t get them back, no matter how hard they tried. I see this whole situation as Big Bad MooseLuvR, the 6 foot tall, 200 pound 6th grader who shaves and has a girlfriend in college, taking the kickball away from a group of kindergartners….holding the ball up out of their reach so they cant play, 7 little kids jumping up and trying to get the ball back, MooseLuvR just standing there, holding the ball up, teasing them. If you watched that happening, how would YOU feel? Those outlanders just wanted to play the game and MooseLuvR took their toys away so they couldn’t play. Not nice MooseLuvR.
I am thinking of giving him some sort of an award. Like the Razzies give out awards for worst films, or the Darwin Awards give out awards (posthumously anyway) for dumbest ways to die, I will give out awards for both positive and negative events I witness or hear about.
Now I present: the FIRST EVER ANKLE BITER AWARD.
All nominees must be GOW players.
All nominees should be nominated for GOW events only, not for idiocy in chat or outside of game. (We’ll make a new award for those)
All nominees should accept the award, should they win, graciously and with MUCH appreciation shown to Leg Humper, my Hero.
Events that may be eligible:
. Sending your hero to a tile with T1 Troops and getting it captured
. Sending a solo march instead of setting a rally and losing hero.
. Attacking a 5B or bigger player with a solo march, “burning him” because you killed a few million T1, and claiming VICTORY despite losing almost your whole T4 march.
. Getting zeroed in a kill event because you were too distracted by a) Real Housewives of New Jersey, or b) reading one of Leg Humpers blogs.
. Selfishly taking 20 or more rallies during a kill event, scoring almost 1.5 BILLION points, collecting at least 6+ heroes from outlanders, and dang near single handedly winning a kill event for your kingdom.
. Anything else in game that may embarrass yourself, your alliance or your kingdom in any way.
(Leg Humper tears open envelope with his teeth, spits out the paper to the side)
(Leg Humper opens the folded paper)
(Leg Humper stares at the paper and realizes he can’t read since he spent his youth practicing his fighting and leg humping skills)
(Leg Humper panics and blurts out the first thing he can think of)
And the Ankle Biter award goes to………KINGDOM 376 for attacking and losing to a 1B trap surrendering at least 7 heroes, losing 22 straight rallies and just not stopping….. Congratulations Kingdom 376! *
Crowd goes wild, #376 doesn’t show up to accept the award. Leg Humper gets pissy because they didn’t follow the rules. Locks himself in his trailer. We haven’t seen him since.
- Side note, despite winning 22 straight rallies. 376 DID win the KVK event. Several of my mails to 376 players to congratulate them were returned by some with “Wow, I didn’t think we’d win that one, even outside those rallies, I thought you guys crushed us!”
If I could give a personal ANKLE BITER award to MZ, for implementing a CITY that has no functionality, a game that lags when kill events are on but the players are to blame for having bad connections, removing the “Toast Pop up notifications” toggle for no real reason, and on and on and on, but MOST of all, for not providing a POINTS RESULTS for events. A LIVE LEADERBOARD would be perfect. Show us how close we are, show us who is leading the event so we can try to push at the end to catch up, or hold off the alliances or kingdoms behind us, how is this NOT a good idea? Several players from more than a half dozen kingdoms I’ve spoken to have stated they believe the outcomes of some the events are controlled by MZ for some reason, and releasing the scoring would make that impossible for them to do that any further. I don’t know if this is true, but until a live leader board is implemented, I’m sure there will be constant doubt in the legitimacy of the results.
Thank you all for making me the most read blogger on this entire site!
Hero: Leg Humper
Kingdom: DAHAE #94
Updated with Battle Reports: