An Ode to the Best Trap I’ve Ever Seen

HarryCubed

Best Rally Trap Ever

So, how did SeeMorebutts take 22 rallies and become the best rally trap ever?

The name of the trap account in this blog has been changed. Why? Because he thinks no one will know what happened here yesterday, no one will spread the word about the story about to be told. Unfortunately, since he’s Canadian, he doesn’t get the whole “viral” spreading of information or cool stories or videos. To him, “Viral” just refers to infections he may or may not get from unprotected relationships with a Moose. I have changed the name of the trap to protect it’s anonymity, so henceforth, I will refer to the star of this blog, the “Trap Account” as MooseLuvR.

The setting: KvK Kill event vs #376. Just north of the Dahae Forest, MooseLuvR (name changed slightly to protect the somewhat innocent), a player I moderately can almost kind of stand despite the fact that he’s Canadian and obviously, well, not afraid to share that fact, sets up his trap, MooseLuvR in a strategic position and reinforces himself from his main account. He tells others in the alliance to reinforce, and many do, including some of my own troops.

KVK starts.

(Some time passes)

A rally is up, it’s fake, but we don’t know this. MooseLuvR figures it out and saves his cores. Other outlanders port in, and set a real rally this time. As the march approaches, we frantically alert him in alliance chat (and PM too) that this one is real…no response…..we’re worried. Did he LAG? Did he get booted from GOW? Is he drunk on some Canadian beer? Was he involved in some sort of flirting ritual with his sled dogs? Was he distracted by his Ice Hole being frozen over? We didn’t know.

The Rally struck…..and a little red icon appears over his SH..no troops returning to the attacking army. WOO HOO! He took the rally, wiped it out! (Turns out the guy was a 7 Billion player, and though I may lose track of the specific order of who attacked and lost their hero in which order, it’s all irrelevant because I’m writing it like this, so read it as such, and let’s all just move on with the story please!…sheesh…)

Almost immediately, another rally comes up, same alliance, someone else will attack and save the hero! It marches, and again, radio silence from MooseLuvR. We watch, squeezing our collective phones, ipads and computer mouses, ready immediately to send rss if needed.

The rally marches….we all fall silent…..the only sound heard was the heart beating out of my chest…thump thump…….thump thump……the rally gets close…….thump thump…thump thump……the rally hits….the pause where we know nothing….no notification, no smoke or fire, nothing,,,,,,thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump……And like the anti climactic feeling you get when you see a “Wet Paint” sign, and touch the surface only to find it’s actually dry, we find he ate ANOTHER rally, and no troops returned, hero captured.

And then, the worst thing that could happen…happened…..

Someone called out that we should get more reinforcements in as a few had been lost in the battle. I recalled mine, intending to put another full march back in, but someone else beat me to it….little did I know that this would be the last battle report I’d get to see from MooseLuvR…..and that saddens me….as it must sadden all of you as well…

But then we sat and watched as more outlanders showed up. Other members with cores, a rally pops up, it marches…..poof! Gone. 3 heroes captured, all from the same alliance…surely they’ll stop, as they KNOW they’ve been beaten, yes? No.

Next thing they try is a 2 alliance simultaneous rally. MooseLuvR is excited to try his skills out and see how he does! (Side note here, How great is our alliance, we were sending him so much RSS inbetween rallies that he had to ask us to stop, as he couldn’t see the rally coming on his watchtower….lol… He was MORE than prepared with RSS on hand for instant healing! Good job MooseLuvR! )

The rallies are going to hit just seconds apart…will MooseLuvR be able to heal in time? Will the extra lag from scouts and multiple rallies screw him up? Who shot JR? What was with the Smoke Monster on LOST? Am I asking too many questions?

No! He took them both, and though he didn’t wipe them out, they were sure and solid victories!

What would they do? Will they continue to try to save their captured heroes? Seems the answer is YES. (Pressing the FastForward button for those of you already losing interest)

Rally marches, hits, poof, Hero gone.
Rally marches, hits, Poof, another hero captured.
Dual rally, both hit, 1st one loses hero, 2nd one gets hurt, but some come home, no hero. Why?

A slight tangent.
Remember a LONG time ago when MZ graciously gave us the option to turn off the “Toast Notifications” and all rejoiced in the land, we were happy with MZ that we didn’t have to research that feature, or buy it in a gold pack….And then like a week later they took that option away? Likely because they realized it helped us in some small way) Well….

After the 1st rally, MooseLuvR hero leveled up, and while going to press the instant heal button to take the 2nd rally, it blocked him off, meaning he got hit with the 2nd rally with hospitals filled. Bummer. Still won, but didn’t get that one more hero…

Last I saw, MooseLuvR was holding heroes of 7 fairly big players (ranging from 4-12 Billion I believe)

I believe the final total was 22 rallies landed on MooseLuvR. 22. TWENTY TWO……..Veintidós…..zweiundzwanzig…..vingt-deux…..tuttugu og tvær…..스물 둘……বাইশ……amashumi amabili nambili….yeah….THAT many!

At one point, there was a 4 way rally on him, and he survived them ALL!

So tell me, have you heard any similar stories? I’m not sure about you, but I think after 2-3 rallies in a short period of time, I’d have said “Shield! I’m proud of myself!”

But that’s not what MooseLuvR did. He decided to keep going, pushing himself to the limit, seeing what he could take, how long he could go, how many heroes he could take.

And for that, his perseverance, his stubborness to keep going, his tenacity, his “cajones!” His unwillingness to give in and take the easy way out, to shield and take a mental break, is for THESE reasons that I’m completely disappointed in MooseLuvR.

MooseLuvR may have made some of the most selfish moves I’ve ever seen. Those poor outlanders didn’t have their heroes, while their cores were running, they couldn’t get them back, no matter how hard they tried. I see this whole situation as Big Bad MooseLuvR, the 6 foot tall, 200 pound 6th grader who shaves and has a girlfriend in college, taking the kickball away from a group of kindergartners….holding the ball up out of their reach so they cant play, 7 little kids jumping up and trying to get the ball back, MooseLuvR just standing there, holding the ball up, teasing them. If you watched that happening, how would YOU feel? Those outlanders just wanted to play the game and MooseLuvR took their toys away so they couldn’t play. Not nice MooseLuvR.

I am thinking of giving him some sort of an award. Like the Razzies give out awards for worst films, or the Darwin Awards give out awards (posthumously anyway) for dumbest ways to die, I will give out awards for both positive and negative events I witness or hear about.

Now I present: the FIRST EVER ANKLE BITER AWARD.
Criteria:
All nominees must be GOW players.
All nominees should be nominated for GOW events only, not for idiocy in chat or outside of game. (We’ll make a new award for those)
All nominees should accept the award, should they win, graciously and with MUCH appreciation shown to Leg Humper, my Hero.

Events that may be eligible:
. Sending your hero to a tile with T1 Troops and getting it captured
. Sending a solo march instead of setting a rally and losing hero.
. Attacking a 5B or bigger player with a solo march, “burning him” because you killed a few million T1, and claiming VICTORY despite losing almost your whole T4 march.
. Getting zeroed in a kill event because you were too distracted by a) Real Housewives of New Jersey, or b) reading one of Leg Humpers blogs.
. Selfishly taking 20 or more rallies during a kill event, scoring almost 1.5 BILLION points, collecting at least 6+ heroes from outlanders, and dang near single handedly winning a kill event for your kingdom.
. Anything else in game that may embarrass yourself, your alliance or your kingdom in any way.

ENVELOPE PLEASE!
(Leg Humper tears open envelope with his teeth, spits out the paper to the side)

(Leg Humper opens the folded paper)

(Leg Humper stares at the paper and realizes he can’t read since he spent his youth practicing his fighting and leg humping skills)

(Leg Humper panics and blurts out the first thing he can think of)

And the Ankle Biter award goes to………KINGDOM 376 for attacking and losing to a 1B trap surrendering at least 7 heroes, losing 22 straight rallies and just not stopping….. Congratulations Kingdom 376! *

Crowd goes wild, #376 doesn’t show up to accept the award. Leg Humper gets pissy because they didn’t follow the rules. Locks himself in his trailer. We haven’t seen him since.

  • Side note, despite winning 22 straight rallies. 376 DID win the KVK event. Several of my mails to 376 players to congratulate them were returned by some with “Wow, I didn’t think we’d win that one, even outside those rallies, I thought you guys crushed us!”

If I could give a personal ANKLE BITER award to MZ, for implementing a CITY that has no functionality, a game that lags when kill events are on but the players are to blame for having bad connections, removing the “Toast Pop up notifications” toggle for no real reason, and on and on and on, but MOST of all, for not providing a POINTS RESULTS for events. A LIVE LEADERBOARD would be perfect. Show us how close we are, show us who is leading the event so we can try to push at the end to catch up, or hold off the alliances or kingdoms behind us, how is this NOT a good idea? Several players from more than a half dozen kingdoms I’ve spoken to have stated they believe the outcomes of some the events are controlled by MZ for some reason, and releasing the scoring would make that impossible for them to do that any further. I don’t know if this is true, but until a live leader board is implemented, I’m sure there will be constant doubt in the legitimacy of the results.

Thank you all for making me the most read blogger on this entire site!

HarryCubed
Hero: Leg Humper
Alliance: MGD
Kingdom: DAHAE #94

Updated with Battle Reports:

best rally trap ever Best rally trap ever best rally trap ever best rally trap ever best rally trap ever IMG_1716 IMG_1717 IMG_1718 IMG_1719 IMG_1720 IMG_1721 IMG_1722 IMG_1723 IMG_1724 IMG_1725 IMG_1726 IMG_1728 IMG_1729 IMG_1730 IMG_1731 IMG_1732

Author: Darkthorne

I like to play and blog about games. I play a wide range of titles on various platforms i.e. PS4, PC, iOS, XBOX. MOBA, MMORPG, F2P, CCMOBA. Game of War, Overwatch, World of Warcraft, Mobile Legends, and CoD WW2. I host live streams on Twitch at www.twitch.com/dakrthornelives and Youtube at www.youtube.com as "DarkthorneX". Thanks for visiting!

33 thoughts on “An Ode to the Best Trap I’ve Ever Seen”

    1. I totally agree. Would LOVE a live leaderboard for players and/or alliances, but how hard would it be to have the points revealed for the Kingdoms doing battle? Losing when you thought you’d won is not helping people make better choices or look forward to the next event, it seems to be having the opposite effect.

  1. I have been politely corrected by the Canadian, MooseLuvR (alias) It was 23 Rallies. Please ignore this entire post and don’t read it over and over as the errors contained in it will simply discount all legitimacy of the entire post. Ugh……Now I feel like I’ve lied to you all……

  2. LOL This is great! Found you all from a link on gowrealtips.co
    Thanks for sharing the epic battle!

    I’m sure their tails were between their legs!
    Loved the line “MooseLuvR took their toys away so they couldn’t play”

    Way to go MooseLuvR! High Fives from Kingdom #166!

    1. And don’t forget to send kudos to the guy who wrote the epic blog about it?!?! Leg Humper deserves SOME credit…..after all, who would have heard about it if not for Leg Humpers incredible story telling ability!
      =)
      LH

  3. Canadians…they are ruining the game ???. Look forward to continuing reading your blogs Harry. keep up the good fight guys ?

  4. I feel I should nominate myself here for taking a full rally, for putting on all cores and sitting back basking in the knowledge that I might not eat the rally, but I would definitely win, only to see the report and find my hero wasn’t there. She’s sitting on a tile next to my city with 1 chariot for defense. Guess I’m just lucky they didn’t try to keep clearing our camps. *face palm*

    1. We all do. But unfortunately, MooseLuvRs secret recipe of troops and gear is currently being held in a vault below the CIA headquarters, along with the Kentucky Fried Chicken secret recipe, the full account of who shot JFK, and the meaning of Stonehenge. Only MooseLuvRs secret recipe is guarded 24-7 by 10 agents fully armed and supplied with energy drinks, ready to shoot anything that moves. (This lead to one unfortunate incident where they drank the energy drinks to fast and all ended up shooting each other, but we’ll tell that story in a different blog….)

  5. Well the main reason we will never have a a live score board is because (as always) MZ is interested in money and fighting with blind eyes will just keep us going and going farther, spending RSS and gold which you all know will lead you to buying a pack after the event LoL. BTW I have been a big follower of this site since long ago be sure I will keep on telling peeps to come and read. The best articles for me on this site are 1. War mechanics (I am not sure this one is yours lol still the best on ever), 2. An Ode to the Best Trap I’ve Ever Seen (A.K.A how to take 22 rallies and win them all) and 3. The sad story about Leg Humper being in jail lol

    1. I agree MonkMaverick that many Mz could include many features to make the game better for the user but do not because it could cut into their bottom line. However, doesn’t it make more business sense to create listen to their users desires to create the best possible gaming experience? This will lead to more usage and their players telling others what an awesome game they are playing. It appears their tactic is to just create new kingdoms and attract new players. Its much like a college in that freshman come in with great expectations. They pay the school a lot of money for the hopes of landing a great job at the end of four years. Some land the great job maybe 10% but the rest of the students have just a lot of debt. This is what I see Mz doing. Each new kingdom is a new class of players who have no idea what they are getting themselves into.

      I enjoy playing Game of War, but had no idea what I was getting into day 1 lol. I’m the “senior” looking at the freshman and thinking ‘they’ve got so much to learn SMH.’

      Thanks for reading Monk 🙂

    2. I agree Monk, it’s about their bottom line. In fairness, of course THEY should be looking at it that way, as a business. (The alternative is to say to their employees, “I’m sure you’re as excited as we are about releasing these great upgrades. They will likely cost us millions of dollars and many of you will eb laid off, but ultimately, it’s going to be a better gaming experience for our players.”

      However, I happen to think that a live leader board would actually HELP. I’ve bought more packs trying to finish an inferno or KVK for research or troop training because I got close, and ran out of something. If our kingdom is a few million points behind, I’d imagine more people would be texting or messaging people to get on and get those points, using hero energy for monsters or troops and such for attacking. Same if our alliance were close to moving up a spot for a better prize, or in danger of falling behind another. I believe people would actually spend MORE during a kill event with live leader boards. But hey, they’re the experts. I just hope….

  6. I have a similar story ,yesterday’s 8way
    I took 14 rallies kept 5 heroes until my cores expired, I was by the wonder no alliance help whatsoever
    My power is 1 billion
    Few very important things that I learned and worth sharing the 5 heroes that they lost ,they lost them because they send 1 type of troops
    So if you want your hero back send a mix!
    2nd thing I was insant healING troops with gold , 40k plus the balance, when I tried to use speedups to save on gold it glitched, and I could not get the healed troops out of the hospital, so take a deep breath and restart the game
    I got the next rally when I logged on with full hospitals! Ouch!!!!
    And lastly when my cores had 2 min left I had to port since i have no presets! I tried 3 times! I was not alowed!!!!!! Restart again!!!!!! And than I ported but no time to gear up on 2nd core set since rally was on its way so I shielded and released
    Total points 2.135 billion which is about 21 million t4
    I healed 6 million t3-t4
    Lost 5 million t3 mostly some t4
    I ranked 5th! On the whole 8 kingdoms
    I had to

      1. 573 bazyli ,I also have all reports saved, and im doing it again. Since then im on the leader board constantly! Everyone’s hero!

  7. Lmao! That is awesome! Finally got to see that battle report that never got sent since my whole rally got ate up! That was epic! This is JudgeMental from 376. I think I was the first victim! Ha ha,
    Way to go! Never forget the but* man!

Tell us your thoughts...

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.