How does a 375k troop march defeat 2.375M? Missile Attack Strategy that’s how! Continue reading “Missile Attack Strategy”
Chronicles From Leghumper’s Perspective
Ok, so CHRONICLES might be a bit of an over exaggeration, but for now, it at least got your attention!
Tonight begins a new chapter in our Kingdom (#94) and in #106 as we enter a 2 day MERGE EVENT with the loser being absorbed into the winning kingdom.
It’s a scary thing, though really, if that’s the only 2 outcomes, I guess it’s not really THAT big a deal, as either way, we are merging.
What do we lose out on if we lose?
The cool name “DAHAE”, (I pronouce it Dah Hay, but It could also be French, like “De Hey” or like Tatoo from Fantasy Island as in “Hey Boss! Da Hay! Day Hay!” or like “Rerun from that old 1970s show What’s Happening? “Da Hay HAY hay!”)
Our Bookmarks? I barely use them.
Our landscape, knowledge where everything is? Like when you stay at a friends house and it’s dark and you don’t know where the light switches are, you fumble around, trip over the dog, etc?
Our very IDENTITY!?! For as long as we’ve played this game (Or at least many of us, who have never been in another kingdom, like the guy who marries his high school sweetheart and has never been with another lover) we are DAHAE! We tell people in real life we are DAHAE, we tell our spouses and our kids we are DAHAE. (Now, don’t get me wrong, no one really cares, but still, we TELL them…..)
SO as we move forward in a few hours into the event, it’s scary. Will our allies find other allies who make them no longer need us? Will our enemies find new friends to make them a new threat? Will they be better than us at everything relegating us to 2nd class citizens in our own new home? Will we meet anyone we like? Will we be the outcasts? Will they make fun of our avatars and make us cry? The future is unknown. At least staying in our own kingdom, as dysfunctional as it is, the dysfunction is known. The unknown is SCARY!
Humans don’t do well with unknowns. Especially intelligent ones. Intelligent people will try to find order, explanations, try to put things in their proper places and see things that have some sort of SENSE! Luckily, I’m not all that smart, so I only worry about where I’m gonna have to port my SH and farms in the new kingdom if we lose.
But really, The UNKNOWNS. Human being HATE unknowns. When was the last time someone handed you a box, unlocked, but said, whatever you do, DON’T open it. Drive you batty? Open it anyway?
How about someone who leaves you a message “I need to talk to you right now, it’s important” and then no details? If you’re like me, you will then begin texting, calling, yelling out your upstairs windows, passing notes to your friends in study hall, sending out smoke signals, whatever you can do to find out WHAT that message was all about.
It’s scary. I don’t like it. In a few days, the dust will be all settled and either win or lose, we’ll make do with what we have. New friends, new enemies, new landscape, etc.
My HOPE is that our new combined kingdom will be working together for a greater good. Whether its to kick some hind-quarters in KVKs, or to perhaps put together a kick-buttocks Super Wonder team, or perhaps some other direction that makes sense for the new DUAL KINGDOM as a whole.
From my very first blog, I’ve stated I’m not a fan of the “attacking civilians” type of play. Hitting our own kingdoms players while on tiles, or just hitting a SH just because it’s a “War Game’ has never been my style. Hitting an enemy? Attacking Outlanders, strategizing at the wonder? LOVE that stuff! Love the rush, the heart beating out of my chest in that moment after a rally lands but you don’t know if your getting your hero back or you’re burning your target. LOVE it.
I would hope that the new kingdom-mates we acquire or join with will have the same philosophy and we can continue to grow, and progress, rather than perpetuate the infighting and drama that can destroy a whole kingdom.
As of this moment, the KVK merge event hasn’t started. I’m excited. Looking forward to it. I, and my alliance, and my alliances allies, will be fighting hard for Dahae, to KEEP dahae, to WIN for Dahae, and hopefully after it’s all over, our new residents and us can work together for the greater good and start a great WINNING STREAK of KVKS and tournaments!
If we end up winning one of those tournaments that allow us to change our kingdoms name, I’m pretty sure it will be unanimous when the vote is held and the new combined kingdom will take the name “LegHumpersHome” as really, it’s what’s most important. Isn’t it?
Thanks for reading this far, thanks for enjoying my other blogs. (or at least reading them and/or pretending to enjoy them)
Perhaps signing off for the last time as a Dahae resident, perhaps signing off for the last time before another kingdom comes and joins us. Time will tell.
Good luck Dahae! Kick Deriere!
Kingdom: #94, DAHAE (For now at least)
p.s. To our future allies, friends and even our enemies, I hope you do well in this event, I truly do. I hope you finish as high as 2nd place in this event. It will be a great feather in your cap to be able to tell our loved ones “Hey, we did well, we lost only to the great Leg Humpers Kingdom” and there will be much rejoicing in the land.
Game of War Merge Kill Event
The End of Dahae?
In a few hours a Game of War Merge Kill Event will commence and another chapter in the K94 Dahae saga will be complete. It is possible that the kingdom that I’ve known since day one will cease to exist similar to when Bastion fought “the nothing” in The Never-ending Story. Poof! It will be gone!
The Game of War Merge Kill Event is met with mixed emotions. On the one hand, it will be sad to see our kingdom disappear and be randomly ported into a new landscape if we lose. However, on the other, it could mean a fresh start and like a new game. Many of Dahae are tired of the same old stories and politics that recycle every few months. At any rate, whenever you smash two kingdoms together it will create much conflict and with conflict comes opportunity.
My alliance is excited for the merge because by some stroke of luck we know some guys in the opposing kingdom from previous kill events. We have a sort of alliance with them. We’ve helped one another with mutual enemies and at the Super Wonder.
This Game of War Merge Kill Event will be interesting indeed. Many “trouble-makers” of our kingdom threaten to go to the “other side” when the merge is complete. As if this threat somehow makes any difference to the kingdom. These guys have been resident outlanders for the entire existence of Dahae. They create conflict all week, attacking people on tiles, burning and capturing farm heroes, and zeroing small players. But, when the kill event comes around they vanish, and do nothing. Immediately following the kill event there they are again in Kingdom chat and burning kingdom while the rest of us our out trying to prepare for the next kill event. No, we won’t be sad to see these guys get lost in the crowd of so many new trouble makers of the kingdom.
For the rest of us who have refrain daily from hitting own kingdom to allow it to strengthen, we welcome some new targets to hit. There was a time when we didn’t get a kill event for six weeks maybe longer. This put incredible strain on the kingdom. All research and no burning makes Jack a dull boy!
Well, I’ll keep you all updated on how the merge saga plays out. For now, back to core crafting and preparing for the event of all kingdom events!
If you’d like to take a trip down memory lane check out these historical Dahae posts below:
I will be bringing part of the kill event live (with delay of course) on Twitch. You can watch it here or view recap:
If you’d like to see if your kingdom has been selected for a Game of War Merge Kill Event please visit our friends at Game of War Real Tips to find out more!
Ok, seriously, back to Game of War Merge Kill Event preparations…
Best Rally Trap Ever
So, how did SeeMorebutts take 22 rallies and become the best rally trap ever?
The name of the trap account in this blog has been changed. Why? Because he thinks no one will know what happened here yesterday, no one will spread the word about the story about to be told. Unfortunately, since he’s Canadian, he doesn’t get the whole “viral” spreading of information or cool stories or videos. To him, “Viral” just refers to infections he may or may not get from unprotected relationships with a Moose. I have changed the name of the trap to protect it’s anonymity, so henceforth, I will refer to the star of this blog, the “Trap Account” as MooseLuvR.
The setting: KvK Kill event vs #376. Just north of the Dahae Forest, MooseLuvR (name changed slightly to protect the somewhat innocent), a player I moderately can almost kind of stand despite the fact that he’s Canadian and obviously, well, not afraid to share that fact, sets up his trap, MooseLuvR in a strategic position and reinforces himself from his main account. He tells others in the alliance to reinforce, and many do, including some of my own troops.
(Some time passes)
A rally is up, it’s fake, but we don’t know this. MooseLuvR figures it out and saves his cores. Other outlanders port in, and set a real rally this time. As the march approaches, we frantically alert him in alliance chat (and PM too) that this one is real…no response…..we’re worried. Did he LAG? Did he get booted from GOW? Is he drunk on some Canadian beer? Was he involved in some sort of flirting ritual with his sled dogs? Was he distracted by his Ice Hole being frozen over? We didn’t know.
The Rally struck…..and a little red icon appears over his SH..no troops returning to the attacking army. WOO HOO! He took the rally, wiped it out! (Turns out the guy was a 7 Billion player, and though I may lose track of the specific order of who attacked and lost their hero in which order, it’s all irrelevant because I’m writing it like this, so read it as such, and let’s all just move on with the story please!…sheesh…)
Almost immediately, another rally comes up, same alliance, someone else will attack and save the hero! It marches, and again, radio silence from MooseLuvR. We watch, squeezing our collective phones, ipads and computer mouses, ready immediately to send rss if needed.
The rally marches….we all fall silent…..the only sound heard was the heart beating out of my chest…thump thump…….thump thump……the rally gets close…….thump thump…thump thump……the rally hits….the pause where we know nothing….no notification, no smoke or fire, nothing,,,,,,thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump……And like the anti climactic feeling you get when you see a “Wet Paint” sign, and touch the surface only to find it’s actually dry, we find he ate ANOTHER rally, and no troops returned, hero captured.
And then, the worst thing that could happen…happened…..
Someone called out that we should get more reinforcements in as a few had been lost in the battle. I recalled mine, intending to put another full march back in, but someone else beat me to it….little did I know that this would be the last battle report I’d get to see from MooseLuvR…..and that saddens me….as it must sadden all of you as well…
But then we sat and watched as more outlanders showed up. Other members with cores, a rally pops up, it marches…..poof! Gone. 3 heroes captured, all from the same alliance…surely they’ll stop, as they KNOW they’ve been beaten, yes? No.
Next thing they try is a 2 alliance simultaneous rally. MooseLuvR is excited to try his skills out and see how he does! (Side note here, How great is our alliance, we were sending him so much RSS inbetween rallies that he had to ask us to stop, as he couldn’t see the rally coming on his watchtower….lol… He was MORE than prepared with RSS on hand for instant healing! Good job MooseLuvR! )
The rallies are going to hit just seconds apart…will MooseLuvR be able to heal in time? Will the extra lag from scouts and multiple rallies screw him up? Who shot JR? What was with the Smoke Monster on LOST? Am I asking too many questions?
No! He took them both, and though he didn’t wipe them out, they were sure and solid victories!
What would they do? Will they continue to try to save their captured heroes? Seems the answer is YES. (Pressing the FastForward button for those of you already losing interest)
Rally marches, hits, poof, Hero gone.
Rally marches, hits, Poof, another hero captured.
Dual rally, both hit, 1st one loses hero, 2nd one gets hurt, but some come home, no hero. Why?
A slight tangent.
Remember a LONG time ago when MZ graciously gave us the option to turn off the “Toast Notifications” and all rejoiced in the land, we were happy with MZ that we didn’t have to research that feature, or buy it in a gold pack….And then like a week later they took that option away? Likely because they realized it helped us in some small way) Well….
After the 1st rally, MooseLuvR hero leveled up, and while going to press the instant heal button to take the 2nd rally, it blocked him off, meaning he got hit with the 2nd rally with hospitals filled. Bummer. Still won, but didn’t get that one more hero…
Last I saw, MooseLuvR was holding heroes of 7 fairly big players (ranging from 4-12 Billion I believe)
I believe the final total was 22 rallies landed on MooseLuvR. 22. TWENTY TWO……..Veintidós…..zweiundzwanzig…..vingt-deux…..tuttugu og tvær…..스물 둘……বাইশ……amashumi amabili nambili….yeah….THAT many!
At one point, there was a 4 way rally on him, and he survived them ALL!
So tell me, have you heard any similar stories? I’m not sure about you, but I think after 2-3 rallies in a short period of time, I’d have said “Shield! I’m proud of myself!”
But that’s not what MooseLuvR did. He decided to keep going, pushing himself to the limit, seeing what he could take, how long he could go, how many heroes he could take.
And for that, his perseverance, his stubborness to keep going, his tenacity, his “cajones!” His unwillingness to give in and take the easy way out, to shield and take a mental break, is for THESE reasons that I’m completely disappointed in MooseLuvR.
MooseLuvR may have made some of the most selfish moves I’ve ever seen. Those poor outlanders didn’t have their heroes, while their cores were running, they couldn’t get them back, no matter how hard they tried. I see this whole situation as Big Bad MooseLuvR, the 6 foot tall, 200 pound 6th grader who shaves and has a girlfriend in college, taking the kickball away from a group of kindergartners….holding the ball up out of their reach so they cant play, 7 little kids jumping up and trying to get the ball back, MooseLuvR just standing there, holding the ball up, teasing them. If you watched that happening, how would YOU feel? Those outlanders just wanted to play the game and MooseLuvR took their toys away so they couldn’t play. Not nice MooseLuvR.
I am thinking of giving him some sort of an award. Like the Razzies give out awards for worst films, or the Darwin Awards give out awards (posthumously anyway) for dumbest ways to die, I will give out awards for both positive and negative events I witness or hear about.
Now I present: the FIRST EVER ANKLE BITER AWARD.
All nominees must be GOW players.
All nominees should be nominated for GOW events only, not for idiocy in chat or outside of game. (We’ll make a new award for those)
All nominees should accept the award, should they win, graciously and with MUCH appreciation shown to Leg Humper, my Hero.
Events that may be eligible:
. Sending your hero to a tile with T1 Troops and getting it captured
. Sending a solo march instead of setting a rally and losing hero.
. Attacking a 5B or bigger player with a solo march, “burning him” because you killed a few million T1, and claiming VICTORY despite losing almost your whole T4 march.
. Getting zeroed in a kill event because you were too distracted by a) Real Housewives of New Jersey, or b) reading one of Leg Humpers blogs.
. Selfishly taking 20 or more rallies during a kill event, scoring almost 1.5 BILLION points, collecting at least 6+ heroes from outlanders, and dang near single handedly winning a kill event for your kingdom.
. Anything else in game that may embarrass yourself, your alliance or your kingdom in any way.
(Leg Humper tears open envelope with his teeth, spits out the paper to the side)
(Leg Humper opens the folded paper)
(Leg Humper stares at the paper and realizes he can’t read since he spent his youth practicing his fighting and leg humping skills)
(Leg Humper panics and blurts out the first thing he can think of)
And the Ankle Biter award goes to………KINGDOM 376 for attacking and losing to a 1B trap surrendering at least 7 heroes, losing 22 straight rallies and just not stopping….. Congratulations Kingdom 376! *
Crowd goes wild, #376 doesn’t show up to accept the award. Leg Humper gets pissy because they didn’t follow the rules. Locks himself in his trailer. We haven’t seen him since.
- Side note, despite winning 22 straight rallies. 376 DID win the KVK event. Several of my mails to 376 players to congratulate them were returned by some with “Wow, I didn’t think we’d win that one, even outside those rallies, I thought you guys crushed us!”
If I could give a personal ANKLE BITER award to MZ, for implementing a CITY that has no functionality, a game that lags when kill events are on but the players are to blame for having bad connections, removing the “Toast Pop up notifications” toggle for no real reason, and on and on and on, but MOST of all, for not providing a POINTS RESULTS for events. A LIVE LEADERBOARD would be perfect. Show us how close we are, show us who is leading the event so we can try to push at the end to catch up, or hold off the alliances or kingdoms behind us, how is this NOT a good idea? Several players from more than a half dozen kingdoms I’ve spoken to have stated they believe the outcomes of some the events are controlled by MZ for some reason, and releasing the scoring would make that impossible for them to do that any further. I don’t know if this is true, but until a live leader board is implemented, I’m sure there will be constant doubt in the legitimacy of the results.
Thank you all for making me the most read blogger on this entire site!
Hero: Leg Humper
Kingdom: DAHAE #94
Updated with Battle Reports:
It was another great Kill Event for MGd! This time facing K110 and K138.
I managed to lead a few rallies alongside my alliance mates and will post the reports for a bit of discussion:
First, this example of a perfect rally:
This weekend our core rally strategy was focused on limiting our T4 deaths so our hits were a bit smaller than in the past but we managed to lose much fewer points making positive points gained easier.
We also felt a fight at the wonder against a guy with full Samura gear and full golden shower set would likely end badly points wise. If you factor total time of a KvK is 22 hours then the total points a guy/alliance/kingdom can receive is 792M points. By rallying the guy at the wonder who has superior gear we figured we just be donating even more points to them.
Instead, we chose easier targets with sub par gear. We chose targets that we knew had vast quantities of troops that our strategically crafted cores could destroy ensuring positive net gains under the “classic” points system. The key to navigating successfully through a kill event under this point system is being selective on targets. The rally leader must show restraint in his target selection. This can be difficult when the core timers start, but it’s imperative! The difference between winning the kill event and giving it away is in the hands of your kingdom’s rally leaders.
For example, some would argue that kill events are lost by people on tiles or players who aren’t shielded. Sure, these players give up points. Some are even zeroed giving up vast number of points. Usually there are a handful of players near a billion in power who are zeroed. However, a rally typically has 2.375 M T4. This is a total point liability of 275 M points per rally. For argument sake let’s say a rally leader has a core set hitting well into 2200%+ and he knows he can burn a billion power player if gear is not great. Should she? Chances are if the player is online you will get one hit on them and they shield. So, to get hero back she must kill 2,375,001 troops. Chances are most if not all of those troops are T3. The point value gained is 95 M but they’ve given up 275M. A net loss of 180M. So, this rally leader must show restraint. Sure she can burn a billion player with her awesome cores but she should choose a much lower power target to move the odds in her favor of positive points gained.
Our targets we looked at power, gear, troops hospitalized, KDR, and kept a keen eye on hero profile for gear change specifically cores. If KDR is under 1.0 and troop hospitalization is high this means the player is losing more than he’s killing and doing it often. It’s a trap with the use of T1/T2. On the other hand if his kill count is high. KDR is above 1 and troop hospitalization is high it’s a trap with T3 in use. We liked this latter opponent. We would not choose a target of this latter category with high power say 900M and above. We like 500M. At 500M and under our core rallies can produce positive net gains.
Granted we did hit s couple of the former traps. Killing 6m-8m T1/T2 troops providing limited points earned, but this is when your rally leader and spotters must better educate theirselves. After hitting said target look at their profile. Is there anything there that was a clue you missed? Usually in our case it’s a fresh trap that’s never been hit. Before the rally no clue, but after the KDR goes way under 1.0. 6 M troops lost and maybe 1.5 M killed makes for a lousy KDR but they got massive positive net points!
In conclusion, we lost the KvK… Dead last in a 3 way. We placed as highest alliance in our kingdom once again. Meanwhile a conglomerate of our other alliances decided to fight at the wonder the entire weekend against the golden shower samurai set rally leader. They aren’t sure how we lost. HA!
Bottom line. We all had fun using our toys this weekend! We look forward to the next round of kicking butt! In the meantime I’ll be in the lab crafting my next set of strategically designed postive points cores!
Eternal Zen and crew have struck again zeroing a 2 B player in minutes.
Check it out!
Zen sent this mail into us to explain why he chose this target.